Driving in the snow


Hubble(1) Keep your foot off the gas. (Slowdown.)

(2) Keep your foot off the brake. (more on this later.)

(3) At the first wide spot on the road violate rules one and two. (You will lose control of your car but your car will tell you what it will do if you must do the same trick later. I hear it helps with the brakes too.)

(4) When starting from a stop, turtles do better on this stuff than jackrabbits. Allow your car to do the driving. Your mother the car really knows more about how to drive on this stuff than you do.

(5) If it is really cold out and the road is wet, the road is not wet. (Make pretend your tires are skates. (The black Ice Rule.) Also, see rule (6).

(6) This rule is best practiced on dry pavement and again in a parking lot. I need to tell you about my ’73 Chevette first. It was puke green and had some minor northern Ohio problems. I could spend hours telling you about them but only two problems relate to rule five. I was poor, so had no money to buy brake pads and they had worn out six months before. Also, I had also burned out the clutch. I had to get the car up to speed, sometimes 60 miles per hour, and stop the car going through the gears using only speed shifting, Now, to do this and get away with it there is no room for tailgating. You need far more room between you and the car in front of you. You need a lot more room. Now that I have a newer car, I learned the same rules apply for my Chevette as apply for driving in snow. When figuring out how much space to have between you and the car in front of you, ask if you could stop your car using only speed shifting. Allow your mother the car to stop itself, not your brakes. Practice this on dry pavement. It takes some getting used to. If you practice this throughout the year your gas mileage will go up, way up.

(7) You can drive a hundred miles an hour on snow and ice. Relax and follow rule (5), but remember, there are jackrabbits out there wearing human flesh (children) and full body armor, (trucks). You can’t turn or stop at that speed.

(8) Four-wheel drive is designed to get you out of the ditch. Use it for anything else and it will put you into the ditch.

Entering Reno(9) If you must put on chains to get someplace, you can do it tomorrow. Relax and listen to Ryan Canaday on KTVN Channel 2 to find out what the less informed are doing.